What's the matter with kids today? No one wants them around?

Another article on BABY BANS!

Read it here

I blogged about this a while back (read it here) from the stand point of having the common courtesy of being observant of your surrounding and deciding wether or not the environment is kid friendly rather than thinking your a mom there for everyone should cater to you and your heathen perfect child. But a baby ban?

 Can't we al just have common sense and use good judgment? 

As I learned as a high school teacher so many moms have what I call "Not My Child" syndrome. Mr T even uses the term to to describe, sadly to many, parents of his clients. 

Mr T: "your child was arrested for DUI"

Mom: "Not my child, it was her friends beer"

Mr T: "well then why did your daughter wreck her can and vomit while being pulled over?"

Hummmm ...

This makes me wonder, is there a connection between the need for a baby ban and the helicopter/"not my child" parent?

I think YES! 

"I do not Love your Child"

Since moving down town I try to be hyper sensitive to my "child friendly" environment. Urban environments can be very child friendly and fun for kids but at the same time I like to be respectful of the other adults around me. I met moms who think "well to bad if people don't like my child acting crazy, they were a kid once too" ummm... I just don't think that way. I went to a lunch once a few years ago where the planning mom arranged for us to go (with 8 babies 2 and under) to a popular lunch spot downtown during the very busy business lunch hour. I was mortified, we took up 5 tabled and about 20 chairs. We were such the elephant in the room! This mom had no problem with it, she is of the mind that her kids are the center of the universe. I mean it's not fun for the kids, the restaurant staff or the other patrons. The only person enjoying it was the mom. I think thats just rude! 

So what do you think? should the other patrons cater to children or is it our job as parents to keep our kids under control?

If you're the kind of parent who allows your 5-year-old to run rampant in public places like restaurants, I have what could be some rather disturbing news for you.

I do not love your child.

The rest of the country does not love your child either.

And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner.

Or our plane ride.

Or trip to the grocery store.

Or the other adult-oriented establishments you've unilaterally decided will serve as an extension of your toddler's playpen because you lack the fortitude to properly discipline them, in public and at home.

And we know you don't discipline them at home because you don't possess "the look." If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say "sit down" a thousand times.

If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say much of anything at all. But this nonverbal cue needs to be introduced early and reinforced diligently with consequences for transgressions, just like potty training. And whenever a kid throws a temper tantrum in the middle of the shopping mall it's just as bad as his soiling his pants to spite his parents, and it stinks just as much.

If you had 'the look,' you wouldn't need to say 'sit down' a thousand times.
--LZ Granderson

I have seen a small child slap her mother in the face with an open hand, only to be met with "Honey, don't hit Mommy." I have seen kids tell their parents "Shut up" and "Leave me alone" at the top of their lungs -- and they are not put in check. I shake my head knowing it's only going to get worse from here.

If I'm sounding a bit judgmental, I assure you I am not alone in my judgment.

Remember that couple that was kicked off an AirTran flight for being unable to control their 3-year-old back in 2007? The child threw a tantrum, refused to get in her seat and delayed the flight by 15 minutes. In a subsequent interview with "Good Morning America," the mother talked about how much more understanding the passengers were compared to the crew that removed the family. That may be true -- but I'm also willing to bet plenty of passengers were happy to have a much quieter flight. An AirTran spokesperson estimated 95% of the 9,000 e-mails the airline received were supportive of taking the family off the plane, according to MSNBC.

Responding to complaints about crying babies keeping people awake, Malaysia Airlines decided to ban infants from first class in some of its flights.

I don't know about you but I would gladly support an airline or restaurant that didn't make someone else's yelling, screaming, kicking offspring my problem.

And there are kid-free cruises and resorts for a reason.

Children are wonderful but they are not the center of the universe. The sooner their parents make them understand that, the better off we all will be.

This is the part of child-rearing people don't like to discuss, because socially, it's not OK to dislike kids. The ugly truth is it's the spineless parents who parade their undisciplined children around like royalty that make people dislike kids.

Parents who expect complete strangers to just deal with it are not doing anyone, including their children, any favors. They are actually making things worse. Not only are their children allowed to interrupt social events and settings when they are young, but they often grow into disruptive forces in the classrooms later. And nobody likes them for that.

I covered education for years and one of the biggest complaints from teachers was about the amount of time they spent disciplining students. Their threats were empty because parents sided with their kids. And, of course, the use of corporal punishment in the classroom is seriously frowned upon, and even punished.

Spanking is not a cure, and should not be the first resort, but I don't think it should automatically be taken off the table when dealing with small kids. We're so preoccupied with protecting children from disappointment and discomfort that we're inadvertently excusing them from growing up.

A young child slapping his or her parent's hand away in defiance is not cute, it's disrespectful. In my house, growing up, that would have earned much more than "the look" from my mother.

If I sound a bit old-school, I am. If I'm coming across as a bit of an ogre, so be it.

As a parent, I can empathize with how difficult raising children can be. There are challenges, especially within the framework of divorce, when parental guilt can sometimes blur what should be the best decision.

But I don't believe making a child's wishes top priority is a demonstration of love. Nor do I believe I, or the rest of the world, should act as a surrogate parents for somebody's bad-ass kids.

You wanted them, deal with them.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of LZ Granderson.LZ Granderson writes a weekly column for CNN.com. He has just been named Journalist of the Year by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association. He is a senior writer and columnist for ESPN The Magazine and ESPN.com, and a a 2010 nominee and the 2009 winner of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation award for online journalism. Follow him on Twitter: @locs_n_laughs

To read full article & watch video by LZ click Here

Am I just to harsh???

Stay at home mom's v The WORLD!

Ok I need to vent a little today. I know the mommy bloggers will be supportive on the subject on SAHM v Working Moms. Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with either choice, it's a personal and family specific decision. Oh course here in Scrap book island SAHMs are the majority and working moms still cater highly to their children's lives. I often forget until I leave the island how brutal and hurtful some peoples options of SAHMs can be. Long ago I started answering the question "what do you do all day" with " I take bubble baths and eat bon bons" and I walk away. This has really been bothersome to me ever since I had my daughter. Maybe because on the whole my husbands social group is highly educated, successful and don't have children. At least thats the case of the one's who make me feel like a second class citizen for being a SAHM.

A while back I had a very ruff night of sitting at a table with one such person. She even went as far as to snub the girl next to me thinking we were SHAMs together or just plain snubbed her for being with a person she has zero respect for. Funny when she learned the girl with me is a lawyer her whole demeanor changed, towards her at least.

After being offered a job last week and turning it down, I was reminded of this night by my husband. My blood started to boil and I decided to vent here.

Dear Dr. Judgmental,

Don’t think you were not beyond obvious at the dinner table when you literally talked over my head because you feel I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. You are correct in the fact that I don’t work, you are correct in the fact that I don’t hold a doctorate degree but I am by NO stretch of the imagination am I uneducated. If your so smart than why can’t you figure out that it’s not what you “do” for a living that makes you  worthy of conversation. If you spent less time judging me for “not working” and a little more time getting to know me you would understand you might just not know what you are talking about. 

Dr. you are entitled to your opinion but that should not excuse you from having some manors. Congratulations on your successful medical practice. See it’s easy be supportive of your fellow womankind. You need not be a frigid bitch and snub your nose to stay at home moms. You don’t have any children and maybe when you do I’ll snub my nose at you for having a nanny raise your children for you. Get off your peddle stool and try the age old “until you walk a mile in my shoes” 

How come if I stay at home with me child I’m considered not working but if I employ a nanny to do my exact same job she is considered working? So because she gets paid to do it she gets more respect? 

I can respect the wonderful work you do for your patients but I have no respect for you as a woman. Here is my wish for you Dr., I hope one of these days you give birth to a beautiful baby and fall madly in love as mothers do. It is then that you will finally start to understand my world. I hope for you that you understand their is no better caretaker for your child than yourself. Even if you don’t become a SAHM I know you will understand the women who choose to. It is then that I will feel you  have something to contribute to a conversation. Because it will not be until then that you have any right to judge. 

You know what my job is Dr? I’m my daughters mother and damn proud of it! 

Amber

The vaccine soap box.

So I am mad at Mr. Andrew Wakefield, because he caused me, even for a brief time, to not trust the expertise of the medical community.  I blame him because he has caused thousands of other parents worldwide to mistrust doctors as well - and more importantly, the power of vaccinations.  I blame Mr. Andrew Wakefield because I believe the decrease in the percentage of vaccinations worldwide makes all of us less safe from diseases that should not be killing our children.  Because the percentage of infants that have been vaccinated has dropped from 95% to 80% in the years since his study was published, it puts more people at risk of contracting  illnesses, and a greater risk of those infected people at getting into contact with others that have also not received vaccinations.  And what of the parents (or grandparents), who DID receive the proper vaccinations in infancy, but for whom the vaccinations have waned with age?  What is to keep them safe at this point?  When measles, whooping cough and countless other illnesses were practically eradicated thanks to vaccines, the whole of society was safe.  Now we are not.

And if you are one of the parents who thinks I am dead wrong, let me just say this.  I totally could be.  I am willing to admit that.  I have been wrong about a whole host of things in my 29 years, and am fully willing to admit I could be wrong about this.  But here is why YOU should be mad at Dr. Wakefield (for you, the believers, I will still call him Dr. Wakefield, as he does for himself.  Although he has no valid medical license, he still graduated from medical school and has a right to that title.) - he is blaming you, not himself, for what has happened.  He maintains that his study was about autism and bowel disease, and never about vaccinations.  It was you - the silly, overreacting parents - who made the link between autism and vaccines, not him.  It is a conspiracy, you see, to discredit him.  And since you were the ones that read his study about "bowels" and turned it into "vaccines", you are partially to blame for what has become of him now.  And I hope you are ashamed for that. NOT! I should have know better when Jennie McCarthy was his spokes woman.



Damn you people who prey on new parents!