Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Domestic enemies of the MoM

People who failed health class: I gave birth to a boy and a girl. They happen to be twins, whose DNA traveled many moons and continents to find my very uterus, and produce two extremely different infants but I understand babies all kinda look alike And while they looked like the baby version of my 4 year old they are also, very obviously MALE and FEMALE. And always dressed one with a bow & one with out and even after being told they are a boy & a girl we hear the same question over and over. And over. And OVER.

“Are they identical?”

The only appropriate response is an impromptu lesson on the differences between a PENIS and a VAGINA. With drawings. Seriously, people NEED to know this stuff and I am on a mission from God to teach it.

Stuff: Stuff is a problem for any family with kids, but households with twins must have two of EVERYTHING. All the mur.thur.furking. time or someone (me) will explode, I think. Cribs and bouncy seats and high chairs and swings and those damn exer-saucers that require entirely new storage *wings* be added to the house. It’s okay, though. The babies don’t need a college education so much as they require those horrific, matching shoes with an obnoxious cartoon character on them. In a shocking twist of fate, I am ABSOLUTELY positive that I am going to die in an avalanche of the very Princess themed items that have ruined my house and my sanity. All that’s left to take is my actual living, breathing soul.

Grocery Stores: So. Grocery stores kind of suck in general for anyone with kids, but they present a *slightly* larger dilemma for those of us raising twins. I have YET to find a way to put two babies in a shopping cart that does not rely upon toilet paper as a padded wedge upon which your infant’s safety depends. And I ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to wait until my husband was home to make my way to the grocery store, because if I was given that kind of freedom, it was going to involve a t-box, an episode of The Real World and a tub of ice cream.

Instead, I opted to: stack twin #1 in the grocery cart, with twin #2 strapped on in the Baby Bjorn…all while verbally screaming my 4 year-old through the aisles of the store where Dora-the-marketing-slut peddles everything from fruit snacks to shampoo. All done with my head down to avoid eye contact with anyone who wanted to know if my babies were twins, identical (enter soft porn drawings) or wanting to touch their hands/cheeks/tongues with every germ in the known universe.

I feel sure any body of water will be added to my enemies list soon

Location:Domestic enemies of the MoM

Monday, December 17, 2012


I've been told often that when a new baby arrives some regression with your older child is to be expected. This is how I found the girls just now. Better look into the weight limit on that rock & play!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

4 months

Today was our four month well cheek at the pediatrician. Both babies are doing great. They are growing like weeds!

Hight 25 inches (50%)
Head 18 1/4 inches (95%)
Weight 14 pounds (25%)

Hight 24 1/4 (50%)
Head 16 1/2 (85%)
Weight 12 pounds 5 ounces (15%)

Although their weight percents look low they are really not. Percentiles are based on birth day not taking into account t they were three weeks early. So if you back up and did the math subtracting 3 weeks they would be right on track .

Both babies were in the best mood just giggling away then came the nasty old shots. Now I have two fussy little nuggets

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Twins true or false

Identical twins can run in families.
It’s actually fraternal twins that can run in families. The reason why is because fraternal twins develop when a woman’s ovaries pop out more than one egg during her cycle, and the tendency to do that can, in fact, run in families. Identical twins, on the other hand, come from the same egg, and that spontaneous splitting is actually considered a random occurrence, and your genes probably have nothing to do with it.

Twins skip a generation.
Okay, so fraternal twins can run in families, but there’s actually no evidence that it matters which generation you’re in. So if you have a parent who's a fraternal twin, there's still a chance you can have twin babies.

Identical twins have identical DNA.
Well, sort of. Identical twins share about 99.999999 percent of their DNA -- not quite 100 percent -- which is why the twins you know probably have some differences, like a mole or birthmark. Researchers have even found an identical twin who carried a gene for a certain disease, which his twin didn’t. Differences between twins can increase over time as a result of environmental factors, and genes can even change slightly (who knew?).

Twins have the same fingerprints.
Fingerprints actually get created in utero and vary based on a baby’s contact with amniotic fluid, the umbilical cord and whatever else is in there (read: the other baby!). So every single person’s fingerprints are different -- even if they're an identical twin!

Animals can tell identical twins apart even when people can’t.
In one study, highly trained police dogs were able to sniff out the difference between identical twins, even when they lived in the same place and presumably were exposed to all the same smells. How did they do it? No one really knows!

Girl/boy twins are always fraternal.
Since identical twins come from the same egg, they're always the same gender. So any boy/girl twins you know are, indeed, fraternal. I get asked if Rush & Nixon are identical EVERY time I'm in public! Really people lets think about what the word identical means.

Twins have ESP.
The jury’s out!
No one has proven definitively that twins can or can’t communicate telepathically with each other, but many twins have claimed they’ve felt upset or anxious when their twin was in trouble, far across the country. And twins have been known to develop their own language that only the two of them understand. There’s just something special about the connection between twins.

Moms of twins live longer.
A 2011 study found that women who naturally conceived and gave birth to twins had a lower risk of dying each year after age 50 than those who had just one baby at a time. And nope, it’s not because of all that extra cardio from chasing around two babies. Researchers say that these women’s “innate healthiness” actually made them more likely to conceive, carry and deliver twins.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

How to make laundry better

Make it cute! Put a baby in it! Laundry for 5 is way different than laundry for 3! It's common for me to have to fold 6 loads at a time

Monday, December 3, 2012

Santa's shopping list!

Miss C has a made her list and is mailing it to Santa! She alo helped the twins with their list and offered to mail theirs as well. 

All they Want For Christmas is ...

Barbie Princess and the Popstar: 
Musical Light-Up Castle
the movie


Barbie Photo fashion doll

Twister Dance

Cinderella The movie
Little Mermaid the movie 
(i cant find this movie anywhere!!!!!)

anything Barbie
size 5/6 clothes
size 10 shoes

Rush ...

Cloud b turtle
cloud b sleep Giraffe

Activity mat (fisher price)

any “boy” activity toys

Boys clothes   6months (he weighs about 14lbs)

Nixon ...

sleep sack

activity play yard

cruise & groove ballapalooza

Girls clothes 6 months (she weighs about 12lbs)